Drink Slay Love – Sarah Beth Durst.

Synopsis from Goodreads.
Pearl is a sixteen-year-old vampire… fond of blood, allergic to sunlight, and mostly evil… until the night a sparkly unicorn stabs her through the heart with his horn. Oops.

Her family thinks she was attacked by a vampire hunter (because, obviously, unicorns don’t exist), and they’re shocked she survived. They’re even more shocked when Pearl discovers she can now withstand the sun. But they quickly find a way to make use of her new talent. The Vampire King of New England has chosen Pearl’s family to host his feast. If Pearl enrolls in high school, she can make lots of human friends and lure them to the King’s feast — as the entrees.

The only problem? Pearl’s starting to feel the twinges of a conscience. How can she serve up her new friends—especially the cute guy who makes her fangs ache—to be slaughtered? Then again, she’s definitely dead if she lets down her family. What’s a sunlight-loving vamp to do?

“A brush with extinction does not excuse unladylike behaviour. You weren’t raised in a barn.”

Initial Final Page Thoughts.
Holy moly, I just finished a vampbook with a smile on my face. WHAT.

High Points.
Pearl. I was snickering here, there and everywhere with this book. Prom. Queen Molly Ringwald. Learning about American High School culture from John Hughes films… which I TOTALLY never did (Love you Duckie.) All you people are vampires… and your stories aren’t stale. Unicorns. Ice-cream. Sunrises. Training sessions. Vampire hunters. Coffee-sodden blood. Family connections. Feasts. Boys who write poetry.

Low Points.
Jadrien.
That’s right.
There’s a character called Jadrien.

JADRIEN?!
I think my heart stopped when I read that little nugget because my body was trying to put me out of my misery at the HORROR of the name Jadrien.
I think that merging two names together is even worse than giving a common name a weird spelling (For example: Mykal, Rycharde, Gneil (silent G, obvz) )
But I’m just going to hope/pretend/assume it’s tongue in cheek and swiftly move on.
This whole story was a bit ridiculous… but I think it was because I kept forgetting I was reading a book about vampires and were-unicorns.

Heroine.
Getting over the fact that your name is Pearl Rose Sange (yes. SERIOUSLY), I thought you were awesome. And not even awesome for a vampire. You were legitimately awesome and very funny and sarcastic and you had steel-toe boots and you’re not a girly girl who is too preoccupied with a mirror (BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A REFLECTION. Lolz)
And you were a cute friend to Bethany (who probably should be referred to in a Best Friend section, but I don’t really have much to say about her. She was fine and suitably ditzy and peripheral, which all good bff’s must be).
You are a bit sceptical about the power and the glory of St Molly Ringwald and John Hughes films and you lots well-earned Brownie points with that (just because you’re moody and angsty does NOT mean you can take their names in vain, Missy.) BUT… you save yourself by liking to watch sunrises.

Which is nice, because I like sunrises, too.

Love Interest.
Evan was cute and wrote poetry and he was funny and he was clever and he was just a bit… wet. And… um…
This is going to be a minute spoiler but if you have ever read a paranormal YA or a book in general, then you’ll have guessed what happens within the first chapter or so.
But if you don’t want to know… skip, skip, skip.
*sigh*… Let’s just say his extra sparkly, glittery appendage would be inconvenient and problematic and ridiculous.

I fancied Jadrien. I’d just call him Jay. He had the gift of the gab and that is important…. also he sounded HOTHOT.

“To you,” he said, “I surrender my heart and soul.”
She rolled her eyes. “Very romantic, considering you have neither.”

Yeah, I’d fall for that. Not even gonna lie.

Theme Tune.

My heels are all worn down
My loyalties are torn
I’m finding different paths now
I never saw before

And it hurts less every day
The paths lead me away
Lead me away from those
Blood thirsty bastards.

Also, I wonder if Mr Barat is still in contact with Pete Doherty… I imagine his blood would be worth millions on the vamp scene.

Boy Angst.
2/10. YES. That’s right. 2 measly points for boy angst. Which I have to hold my hands up and admit I thought it was going to be off the scale in this department. Vampires do that to me. I just assume they’re all DRAMATIC.
Pearl was a badass and even though there may have been a few eye-rolls (We get it… he has warm eyes that search you)… they were minimal.
HURRAH.
Although…. *sigh*… I’m about 90% sure that there is going to be a sequel and it has potential to be more angst-ridden.

Sadness Scale.
1/10. What? You mean a book about vamps being stabbed by shiny unicorns isn’t sad and hard-hitting and thought-provoking? HOLD THE PHONE, I’VE BEEN DUPED.
Sometimes you just need a book that is just funny and there’s no angst and there’s no hidden agenda and it doesn’t make you learn things about morals and whatnot.
The 1 point is for Ashlynne and her family.

Recommended For.
I don’t normally compare books with other books because I don’t think it’s really fair… but this book reeeeaally reminded me of Hex Hall and Ms Hawinks’ humour. So if you like that kind of thing, you’d probably like this. People who want to put their brain on pause for a bit and just have a bit of a laugh. People who just want to eat ice-cream without drama and nearly dying. People who think about food in the middle of a miracle. People who wished their prom had eight cardboard cut outs of a certain Mr Pattinson in a character that you’ve probably never heard of (and I’m not talking about good ole Cedders). People who understand the importance of Molly Ringwald. People who don’t immediately assume that because a boy sparkles that he’s a vampire…. He could just be a unicorn…. Or really bad at arts and crafts.

I received a copy of this book from the publishers.

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