Did you miss us?
Of course you did. Ask a silly question, get a silly answer.
You remember us right?
Let’s colour code in case you’re new.
Jo– Wearer of Old Coats. British, Northern.
Anna- Brilliant jotter. British, Southern.
Flann– Readventurer. American.
Maggie- Anonymous Young Adult. American.
Rey– . Tumblr Queen. Aussie-Aussie-Aussie.
OI OI OI.
Let’s do this.
Episode One: Maxxie and Tony.
Six months have elapsed and Cassie has moved to Scotland,leaving Sid upset. Tony is still having mood swings and black-outs following his accident and,since his mother is suffering from depression,Effy takes over the reins of the household. Maxxie is having problems with local homophobes and his father’s refusal to let him become a dancer but agrees to help Tony.
“Are you mental?” “Yeah.”
Right so this is a biggun. You remember the ending of the last series right? Tony?! RAAAAAR. Yeah, that’s right. Well he’s back and he’s alive, but where is everyone else? After being hit by a car, Tony is struggling. He’s not who he was anymore, does he even remember who he was? Luckily, Maxxie is there to look after him and be his best mate. But that’s not the only thing on his mind. He wants to be a dancer but Bill Bailey doesn’t want him to be one. Don’t you just hate it when Bill Bailey stands in the way of your dreams? It really is the worst. His dad wants him to go to college, but all Maxxie wants to do is dance.
Cassie’s Highland Flingin’ herself all over Scotland and Sid is sad. Not only because the girl of his dreams is seeing if it’s true about Real Scotsmen but also because he misses Tony. But can it ever be the same?
And Michelle… well. Well…
Tony and Maxxie
Jo-I wish Maxxie was my best friend. That I secretly fancied. And then wept because he was a homosexual and could never love me.
Flann-Tony, Tony, Tony. (Relevant) I don’t really get what his acting is supposed to be/how he has been affected by the accident. It just never checked out for me.
Anna-I can never quite tally his behaviour here with how he acts later on. You’re right, there’s so many questions about his condition that are left unanswered, or seem to be conveniently forgotten.
Rey-In the small break I’d kind of forgotten how good it is. Although I do just want to mess Maxxie’s hair up a bit. (Not a euphemism). I kind of want to hug Tony, and that’s saying something.
F-Siiiiiid, what the eff are you doing?
J-I love Sid’s picture of Cassie on his wall. Imagine if you went into a guy’s room and your naked picture was on his wall. I love how this bit goes on a second too long with Cassie just doing the highland fling.
F-Stop being a douche to Tony. Cassie, what the eff are YOU doing, you tease. I wish I was in Scotland right now. Sid’s beer looks warm and gross. How creepy is that wall of Cassie in the background?
J-Oh.. see above.
M-Does Sid have a thing for pics of people in beds or something? Weirdo.How does Jal STILL have braces?? Did she have Quintana of Charyn teeth or something? (Yup, I’m rereading Froi at the mo ← Mo… ha I’m using a Mandee-ism.)
F– LOL at Anwar dancing.
J-Anwarrrrr.. look at his pants. What is he even listening to?
R-Whaaaaaaaatttt??? How is this Anwar??
F-I love how Jal slaps his head. Chris is such an upstanding citizen thus far. “Let’s go get fucked” hahaha.
R-“Why are you dressed as a crack dealer?”Haha.
A-Has Anwar grown about 2 feet taller since the end of the first series? I swear he wasn’t that lofty before. Also, that’s some really bad voiceover dubbing when the camera is first on him and he’s supposed to be singing along. “Angry boots” is such a spot on description of Jal.
J-Unstudied. LOL. Chris. ‘Fucking hell, I dress up!’
M-Love Posh Kenneth!
F- SCARF ALERT! And random kisses are random. I love when they watch Jal grinding with that guy.
J-I know, I can’t help but think ahead and I get so happy. I love Jal so much. She’s just like BOOM here’s my bum writhing all over you. “Fuck me senseless.” :D
R– I love Jal too.
J-Fun fact: When I go out dancing, I always get stuck with the ridiculous boys like Anwar dancing AT me, rather than with me.
R-I dunno, I actually feel sorry for Michelle. Not because of Sid’s judgement, but because she knows what’s doing and she’s doing it anyway. There’s got to be a fair amount of self-loathing or something horrible going on inside her head. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it’s kind of scary how much I can relate to her in this episode.
Tapdancing in Churches: Y or N? Also, WHERE IS TONY?
F-Wow, this is some super serious church tapping and hip hop going on.
J– So amazing. Especially because everyone is going to be like TONY! WHERE ARE YOU? And the Skins chaps are like ‘Eh, let’s have a dance break’.
R-It kind of gives it away that Tony appeared in the opening credits though… I wonder if they showed them for the first ep when it actually aired? You know, for suspense!
A-This opening scene feels like they’re saying – ‘look we’ve got a much bigger budget this series series, so we’ve bought an old church’
R-This is very cool. Except dancers make me feel so inadequate. “Oh yeah?? Well, you should just see how good I can…. type.. or something..” I fail at anything that involves a lot of coordination.
M-What is this, Dance Academy?? WHAT HAPPENED TO TONY??
F-Oh, take off your shirt and start making out. Totally normal.
J-Her bra was really gross.
R-I wouldn’t be skins if there weren’t nipples within the first 5 minutes.
Is Jo a chav?
F-LOLOL These girls are priceless. This is how I picture mini-Jo, amiright?
R-Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! This is exactly how I picture mini-Jo!!
J-Oi. Are you mental?
M-Future chavvy pink ladies!!
F– Effie looks so much younger here than she does in her season. I guess it is the lack of makeup? She cracks me up in the toilet scene.
J– I love how she kind of looks at the camera too.
A-I like how she’s the only character to ever do this. That little knowing look just says all you need to know about her.
R-So, so different to how we first saw her in Season 1. I read something somewhere once about Effie being one of the few characters who break the “fourth wall”. I wonder who else does it..
Dancing Dogs and Judging Hooligans and Bill Bailey.
R-WTF IS THIS??
F– BEST CUT EVER YEEHAAAAAAW! This dog flipping rocks my socks off.
M-What the wha?? I don’t understand this. Did we go from England to the Bayou?
J-BILL BAILEY. Like he could ever be a normal dad. I adore him. I went to see him on his Tinselworm tour and it was so great. It will be a sad day when this isn’t funny. Also, Kraftwerk hokey kokey. LOLOLOL.
A– We saw him live a few years back. And he is a fellow Hammersmith resident, god love him. I have spied him watering his plants in his front garden. Just a heads up, but I’m really a creepy celeb stalker.
F-Hahaha at the hoods all watching Maxxie’s dad.
J-Cockity cock cock. LOL The guy on the bike. Oi, Anna, you shouting at me… no.. YELLING at me.. for calling my “dinner” my tea. Maxxie just said tea is ready and he’s southern!
A-I called it tea today! What is happening to me?
R-We used to say tea when I was growing up, my Mum still does..
F– D’aw, Maxxie’s dimple is so adorable. I wish his voice didn’t sound so whiny. (“I want to be a dancer! I want to quit college! Waaaaaah. Daaaaaad!”) Who calls someone a turd burglar? WTF?
A-Who doesn’t love a dancing dog? PUDSEY FANDOM.
J-PUDSEY. Still devastated that he didn’t perform at the Closing Ceremony… with Ray Davies. And probably Jessie J. I think I performed with Jessie J that night.
Have you ever showered in your clothes?
F-I like this montage of how shitty everyone is doing. Why is Michelle always showering in her clothes? No matter how shitty I feel, I have never once gotten into the shower in my clothes. You guys?
R– No…. comment…
Parents, Teachers and Other Ridiculous Things.
J-OK, I just have to say this and only Anna will understand me. MAXXIE HAS THE COOLEST PARENTS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
J– Bill Bailey AND Fiona Allen? Smack the Pony is seriously one of my favourite TV programmes in the entire world. Too funny. I could quite happily Youtube videos of it all day.
A-Bill Bailey is such a legend. I love him.
F-You helped him when he was a baby? Oh, yeah, right, that makes it fine. Just take his manmeat in your hands like it’s no biggie. So it was all a trick? Or is she just laughing at how much he has to pee? Either way, pretty awkward.
J– I know this scene really makes me cringe. What kinda mum would do that? And I think it’s the latter. Why does she stay in the bathroom?! lol.
A-This scene is pretty awful, in a sort of bad laughing acting kind of way. And yes, who would stand there and watch? And laugh?
R-Yeah, I think it’s the latter too. And does she think laughing will break the tension or something? This scene is so strange.
J-What’s Dale’s dad been in? He looks like I’ve seen him in something before.
A-He’s been in loads of stuff, like Coronation Street and The Royale Family – I think his name’s Geoffrey something. I only know this because I read that he died a couple of weeks ago :( and was also in series 1 as the guy at the scrap yard that Chris sells his stereo to. And, weirdly, plays another character in series 3. Skins legend.
BAKING A CAKE OF REMORSE. This is such a great punishment.
[Added by Jo: Geoffrey Hughes, his name is. And OMG HE WAS IN KEEPING UP APPEARANCES. Wow, he was in a lot of brilliant things.]
Skins Fashion Show.
J-Forgot about Maxxie’s white waistcoat.
A-I wish I could forget about it now.
J-Seriously, why does everyone own scarves in Bristol? And caps? TAKE YOUR HATS OFF INDOORS BOYS. WERE YOU DRAGGED UP?!
A-They really missed a trick by not making some sort of Skins scarf type merchandise.
J– We could have done a Skins Scarf giveaway!
R-Everyone’s hair is so strange and it’s freaking me out.
J-Sid’s hair is looking suspiciously like a bob. Get a haircut.
A-All I written for this scene is CUT YOUR HAIR. Also, he looks even smellier than he did in series 1. I love him a little less in this series.
F-Tony’s haircut looks ridiculous. Like someone took scissors randomly to his bangs and then gelled them to his head.
R-Tosser > Wanker, IMO.
A-BAKING A CAKE OF REMORSE. This is such a great punishment.
R-Also, EYEBROWS. They seem a lot more noticeable this season.
J– His collarbones are extremely distracting.
F– EYEBROWS ARE OUT OF CONTROL RIGHT NOW.
We like eyebrows.
So go on then. What do you think? Do you think Tony is going to be OK going to college? And what about Michelle? Will Sid ever have a shower? And who’s watching Maxxie? Would you eat a cake from someone who can’t spell sorry? Ha. Of course you would.
We also like cake.
Until next time…